Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
