My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
