Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
