Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
