I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
