So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
