omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
