I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
