so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
