I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
