omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
