what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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