I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
