"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
