I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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