sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
