How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
one might say we're banned from that church
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
