Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
