he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
