The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
