I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
