they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
