I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
