I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
