Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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