I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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