We won't sleep together?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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