Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize