Porn is love you can see.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
