Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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