no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
