Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
