We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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