I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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