so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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