Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
