But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
