a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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