Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
