he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize