Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
