i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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