Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
