I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
