she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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