super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
two words...techno handjob
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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