i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I know her cup size but not her name....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize