PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
