Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
