If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
A+ Viking dick
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
