I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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