Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
