I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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