new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
