I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
if only i could text you this smell
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize