New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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